How Not to F*** Them Up by Oliver James

How Not to F*** Them Up

By Oliver James

  • Release Date: 2010-06-03
  • Genre: Parenting
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As a mother, are you comfortable in your skin?
Want to know how best to be a stay-at-home or working mum?

Babies have very simple needs, yet many parents are overwhelmed with elaborate advice on how to meet them. In How Not to F*** Them Up, leading child psychologist Oliver James argues that your under-threes do not need training; it's getting your head straight as a parent that's important.

Drawing on extensive interviews and the lastest clinical research, James identifies three basic types of mum: the Hugger, the Organiser and the Fleximum. Outlining the benefits and pitfalls of each, How Not to F*** Them Up shows you how to recognise which style suits you best and outlines simple strategies to reconcile personal ambitions with the needs of your family.

Empowering and provocative, Oliver James will help you make the best choices for bringing up a happy, confident child.


  • Great book, very thought-provoking

    By Pandika
    This is both an enjoyable read, and thought-provoking one. The author has some. Eat strong opinions, especially about nursery for kids younger than three, but unlike many similar books, he really does present and reference his evidence thoroughly. As a reader, you're then able to genuinely decide whether you agree with each of his points. It's strength lies in provoking parents to questions why they do what they do, whether they truly and objectively believe in those reasons, and thereby start to alter any approaches they may decide are not actually in the child or their interest. Much less dogmatic and far more realistic than other parenting books, although it does overlook the possibility that when parents work to maintain a certain lifestyle, it may be for the benefit of their children (e.g. Private education, seeing the world etc).